SPEAKER_03 0:20

To be seen, to be cool, let the world know it's cute. To be killed, to be love, never low. Rise above, rise above. Gotta stay funky, gotta stay sick. To be everything that you know you can be. Oh yeah, gotta stay funky. Gotta stay sick. To be everything that you know you can be.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Family, ha ha ha. Say it with me. Oh yeah, family folks all around the world, around the corner, up the street, and round the way. It's good to be here with you today. I'm your host, Sir Wall. Welcome back to Funky, Funky But Chic. Welcome to Ghosting Yourself, the show where we learn to stop disappearing from our own lives and start reappearing with style. Listen, I'm a guide you through reclaiming momentum with a vibe that's equal parts chic and unapologetically honest. If you ever scroll past your own goals, if you've ever treated your future like a stranger, this episode is for you. Let's reappear together. I'm coming for all the shame and the stuckness for every time you slacked and needed yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

New episodes drops every Monday. Subscribe today for bite-sized insights, big ideas. Subscribe now.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

So listen up. What if your most consistent relationship is the one you have with your absent self? Think about that. Well, today we're diving into self-ghosting. How we slip away from our goals, how we notice when we're not doing it, and how to reappear with intention and a little flair. Picture this. You've been talking about starting a project for months, then one more ping on your phone and one more scroll, and suddenly the project feels like a distant cousin of some kind. That moment, that tiny, stylish, vanishing act, that's ghosting yourself. It's not a flaw, it's a habit with a pattern, and patterns can be re-scripted. So let's name what this ghosting actually looks like. So we can invite it to leave the stage. It's something we don't want around because it's still in our power, it's still in our magic, it's still in our intentionality, it's still in the mission that's in us, our purpose for being, our fulfillment, and our happiness. Today we coming after that ghost and scene. Let's be specific. Here are telltale signs you're ghosting yourself with a little glamour for good measure. You know, we want everything sexy, but we doing a lot and really doing nothing. As they say, you doing way too much. And I'm like, and you ain't doing nothing at all. Listen, missed milestones with excuses. Like, I'm waiting for the right moment. I'll start over, or after I organize my space, or the classic, you know, I'll get to it later. Sound familiar? Things that fall away, rituals that you just find yourself slowly just backing out of and uh letting go. Your morning stretch, journaling, or working out, are gone without a dramatic exit. You just look up one day and you were doing it and now you're not. Uh, your self-talk, uh, the tone of it becomes punitive, like saying, I'm lazy, I'm always messing up, I should have known better. You know, when you start talking to yourself more negatively and creating moments of shame and anguish and stress because you aren't doing what you used to do, those are ways where you slip away from taking care of the real deal and ultimately start ghosting yourself. Procrastination, like wearing a disguise. I'm just planning, I'm researching, I'm preparing, I'm thinking about doing it, I want to do it. You know, I mentioned that in the other episode. You know, thinking about doing it ain't doing it. Planning to do it, ain't doing it. Uh, talking about doing it, ain't doing it, and even praying about it. It just ain't doing it. Either you doing it or you not. So don't decide. Do. Okay, let me pipe down and come back a little bit. Listen, and uh social media noise replaces your inner guidance, likes uh like dopamine, and they went over the voice of your dream. So at the end of the day, you know, social media or any other platform, you see just a snapshot. And in some cases, you may see the journey of people or from point A to point B, but you don't see the true story, and you cannot model your life after them because their journey, their purpose, and their value in the earth is not the same. So all those things begin to lullaby you into a place of walking away from routines and rituals that uh help you stay on track. Here today, we're gonna we're gonna talk about it, we're gonna lift the shame and ease you back into a place of reappearing as yourself. And awareness is the first reappearance step. If you can name the behavior without shaming yourself, you reclaim your power.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Love being human. You'll love funky funky but she with Sir Wall. Subscribe and listen wherever you get your podcast.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

So do this with me. Let's let's unpack why this happens and look into the psychology behind self-erasure. You know, why do we ghost ourselves? What is that about? We talk about it in relationships all the time, but I think we forget that in our one-on-one, our inner man, our inner person, our inner being, our soul. You know, it's it's good to know that ghosting isn't laziness, it's a set of signals. Your brain sends when it's uncertain how to level up. Hmm. Interesting. Let me say that again. Ghosting isn't laziness, it's a set of signals. Your brain sends when it's uncertain how to level up. Let's map the fear, the tension, and the tiny comfort zones that keep you hidden. Like the fear of failure. Trying means risking, not succeeding, the fear of success. The stakes change when you actually hit the mark. Perfectionism, waiting for the perfect moment that never arrives. People pleasing, saying yes to others, saying no to yourself, and the comfort zone magnetism, the known delay is often quieter than the fear of the unknown. Hmm, that's some deep stuff. We we gotta dig a little deeper, and and consider the approach of the comfort zone being a neutral space and not a moral good or evil, just a place you've learned to tolerate. And identity friction, I think this is this is really interesting. Goals require you to evolve and your current habits resist the evolution. The ghosting impulse is actually a signal. You're growing into a version of yourself that your current routines don't yet support. When you hear the signal, you could design a bridge back one small deliberate step at a time.

SPEAKER_05 8:03

Be everything that you know you can be. Oh yeah, yo, gotta stay funky, gotta stay she.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

So let's practice reappearing with tiny, repeatable rituals that fit into your real life. Tiny comebacks beat grand intentions every time. No sense in being real big and sexy and getting nothing done. I'd rather you be real and intentional and complete what you put in place. Uh, no need for a lot of pomping circumstances, hoopla and hollering and big planning and talking about it and getting nothing done. Nothing to it at the end of life. Uh, people don't really care because if you're rocking with the right people, they're doing their own thing, and your non-thing or your little thing that you won't get done becomes nothing. Uh so here are some practical daily microhabits to reintroduce you to you. A 60-second self-check, and you can say to yourself, what do I want right now? Come up with three words of intention, uh, something like create, commit, or celebrate. Um, for me, I honestly have my um Alexa app about five times a day send me a reminder to do it now. And it could be the most random moments and times of the day, but it's something that reminds me, it's a ritual to remind me whatever I'm planning or doing or have committed to to get it done. If I haven't completed, finish it, start it. It's a reminder because it's easy to get lullaby into just the rest of the day, the stillness of the day, the busyness and activity of family and friends, or just not wanting to. Just that's okay to say. Um, but again, ghosting yourself is a behavior, it's not an identity. It doesn't mean that you're less than and you don't have the gumption and the umption and the ability to do. But if you don't do, you're not doing. Again, remember thinking about doing and praying about it and talking about it and planning about it and doing. That's what I'm saying. Okay, listen, and the next thing we can do is one small win a day. You want to celebrate that. Invest 10 minutes in the project, no pressure for a win, just presence. So, whatever it is you're thinking about or planning, nothing's too small. I always say there's always something to do. Meaning, if there's one phase of the project that is stalled or I can't get done or needs more resources or development or research, then always something else I can put my hands on relating to that project or building into another project or idea. Always. I just really believe that, and I practice that there's always something that you can be doing. So, in this context, I want to encourage you to invest 10 minutes in the project. No pressure for a win, just be present and be you. Weekly date, a weekly me date. That's what you want. A weekly me date, time with you, a 60-minute block for your self-renewal through walking, music, sketching, or learning more tools or more about some other topics or arenas, whatever nourishes you, commit to you to build you so you can be the full strength version of who you be. I'm just here to help you, family. I don't want you to fall off, and I definitely am committed and focused on us being exactly who we are, the best of who we are, living the life that serves our highest good. Um, wherever we are in the world, that our form doesn't change our function, meaning that where we are, it doesn't look like we should be successful if we're going where we're going, but the gift and the magic and the ability in you is in you for the world. So let's get busy being magically who we are. Take a breath, home. Ask yourself, what do I want right now? Now choose one action you can complete in the next 60 minutes that nudges you towards your goal. Write the intention on a sticky note and place it wherever you'll see it the most. On your computer, on your monitor, on your mirror, maybe your fridge. I put things on my front door to remind me. I put things in weird places that will frustrate me later when I find it, but it was for a purpose because I understand how kind of how I operate and move. So now how do we align the outer style with inner intention? Let's talk about style and self. Um funky and chic, big and sexy. Pretty much, how do we uh match what you're presenting externally with your intentional efforts that eventually will manifest outwardly to show that you're following those habits and those routines. Your environment is a co-creator of your identity. If you want to reappear with confidence, design the stage, create the atmosphere, open up the moment, establish the platform, put things in your way around you, accessible to you to become you. It's important to know that environment mirrors identity. A tidy desk, a curated playlist, or color palettes. Just for the future you want to be, even if the moment isn't fully there yet. You know, there's that whole phrase, fake it until you make it. Well, you know, I kind of adopted fake it until you make it, uh, because a fake ingredient is still fake whether you made it or not, and sometimes we fake our whole life through and never make it. But the point is, is create an environment that um supports where you are, but more importantly, points to where you're going. Music as a mood shifter, a signature cue for reappearance or personal action song. I have one song that I think sticks out out of all the many songs I know love for many, many reasons. It's uh Sound of Blackness, uh Hold On. There was a time in life it was rough, it was difficult, and it just didn't seem to make any sense to hold on, and honestly, to hold on to what, but I remember that song, and every time I hear it, it just resonates. And I'm a music guy, and I know a lot of music uh throughout my life, but that song it resonates all the time in thought, in recall, and especially when it plays, it's something about the signature that that really uh it speaks to me. So creating environments, moments, opportunities, people, things, trinkets to help you align, stay in tune, and uh remain activated in who you are. So listen, create a reappearance playlist, something that signals your commitment to yourself. I've created my own playlist that uh push me. They're called hard life or happy life, whatever mood I want to be in, is something that pushes me to recall, reflect, and to move forward. Also, declutter one space that drains your energy this week. Sometimes that one corner with everything piled up is the thing that keeps pulling you and you don't want to get into, but it's gonna make the difference the next time you walk by, and the space visually is clear and the energy is flowing very freely. Creating moments, you know, they are essential. Create the environment that matches your magic. You design your surroundings to support your reappearance and your momentum.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Ah, hello. We do hope that you've enjoyed yourself with the art of staying funky and staying chic.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Great day, boundaries aren't barriers, they're runway lights guiding you back to yourself. In setting your boundaries, learn to say no gracefully. No, that doesn't align with my current focus. Or renegotiate commitments, propose alternatives or timelines that honor your reappearance. Self-forgiveness is important. Drop the self-punishing act after a slip. If you don't keep up, if you fall and you slack on yourself again, forgive yourself, get back up and fix it and move forward. You always hold the power to you. And also, what's so very important is how you talk to yourself. People may say crazy stuff out their mouth and be really weird, but how you love yourself, how you talk to yourself, how you see yourself is critically important. And you can say things like, I'm choosing me today. And that means I'll pass on that for now. Thank you for understanding. Chose yourself. No guilt, no shame, no frustration, and don't change your mind and go back. Make you the priority. Because boundaries protect reappearance and sustain progress, not punish your past mistakes. Yo, fam, thanks for staying on the ride with me. Let's recap so you leave this episode with actionable clarity. Here are five quick takeaways to cement what we've covered today. Ghosting is a choice you can unchoose. Self-awareness without shame accelerates re-entry. Tiny actions be grand intentions. Your environment is a co-creator of your identity. And kind boundaries sustain sustainable progress. Now, a final thought to carry with you as you step back into your day. Your energy isn't meant to drift, it's meant to be directed back towards you. Reappearance isn't about perfection, it's about showing up with what you've got consistently. Love this vibe? If so, subscribe, rate, and share with a friend who's ghosting themselves in style. Thanks again for being here and spending time with me on ghosting yourself. Remember, you can reappear on your own terms with chic intention and practical steps.

SPEAKER_04 19:10

See y'all the next time we hit To be sink, to be cool, let the world know you, to be healed, to be loved, never low. Rise above, gotta stay funky, gotta stay shit. Be everything that you know you can be. Oh yeah, yeah, gotta stay funky, gotta stay shit. Be everything that you know you can be, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

Yo, dig this cosmic proof this baby.

SPEAKER_06 20:49

Do it take break minds, break minds with it's signs, cause we've been screaming, baby. It's a wake time, it's time to shine.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

I am choosing to reappear. I am choosing me. I am not my past patterns, I am the author of my present moment. I notice when I ghost myself, I gently guide myself back to my own light. I deserve goals that matter to me. I have the power to start now. With every breath, I release the need for perfection and welcome steady progress. I honor my boundaries as acts of care for my future self. I am courageous in small moments and courageous still in big ones. I trust my intentions to tell me what I want, what I need, and what I can do today. I reframe fear as a signal, not a verdict. I listen, I adjust, I move forward. I am patient with myself while I stay relentlessly curious about my own growth. I celebrate tiny wins, one minute, one step, one decision that aligns with my truth. I design my environment to support my reappearance, my space, my time, my people. I am worthy of momentum, joy, and deep meaningful progress. I forgive myself for moments I paused. I recommit with compassion and clarity. I show up with presence, even on imperfect days, because consistency compounds. I am the person I am becoming. I carry that future version of me into today. I choose to reappear now with style, purpose, and self-respect.