SPEAKER_01 0:53

Family folks, me and Faw, thanks so much for pressing play today. As we continue our exploration in the topic, What is missing in humanity? We focus on community today. This is not a critique, but a cosmic invitation to rethink what we're misaligned and how we may realign with something larger than ourselves. Today, my guest is Pastor Michael Bell of the Peace Baptist Church in Northeast Washington, D.C. Family folk, indeed. I'm glad to talk to him. We've been really excited about preparing for the show. So much that when we got together, that I just had to press record. And here is the magic that happened.

SPEAKER_06 1:36

Yeah, that's what it was. He uh talks about this idea of morphic resonance, that there are these reverberations that take place throughout a communal consciousness. That we're all connected in a way that uh we pick up on very, very similar things. It's not just a me thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:57

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 1:58

Um and I think you know the prevailing question of our conversation as to what might be missing, I think, is um exactly what you're talking about and what other people are centering on is a sense of belonging. Um but and community. I don't know because we've lived in an atmosphere and quite honestly our current context is so divisive. I don't know that we have had time enough with the tools to figure out what community calls for. And it's actually what you are um suggesting, this level of belonging, of course, to be sure, this communal notion, but also that comes with accountability. There is an ebb and a flow, there's a rhythm to the way community works. Everybody isn't going to agree. It doesn't mean that we're not in community. Absolutely. But we have to have ways by which we are able to have those conversations, navigate indiscretion, navigate different choices, different value systems, different ethics. Living with difference. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Um and not necessarily to demonize it as well. Yes. Because that's the that's the other thing about um uh belonging and community. I think what most of us interpret it to be is that it is sameness. Yes. And it is not. Opposed to the harmony in the difference.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Yes, yes. It's like understanding it's the relationship. Yes. You're not like me, but the likeness of you is what I choose to embrace. So it's this, it's not the sameness, but it's it's an alignment. Yes. So it's expressing and understanding what's not preferred, but identified.

SPEAKER_06 3:55

And, I mean, and when when you sit with it, when you grow through it, when you mature with it, when you get comfortable with it, you recognize that those differences are so necessary for me to be. Yes. Yes. For me to be. Yes. I I tell um, well, first I'll go to this. I had uh, we have a social worker who's a part of our congregation. We were in a church meeting, and I kept using the language boundaries. Okay. Because I was also trying to um uh navigate the congregation through uh this period of transition, which was going to create um this need for accountability. And so I started this discussion on boundaries, and man, when I tell you she read me in the meeting, and she says, Well, I hear you, Pastor, and I understand what you mean, but it's not just boundaries, it's also harmonies that we should be searching for. It's the connections of the differences that provide the strength. Okay. In community, I was like, man, you better preach. Go ahead. That I mean, because that that is it.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Um because we're quick to separate. Absolutely. But once we identify, how do we bring that together? So there's a there's a value to the distinction.

SPEAKER_06 5:18

Absolutely, absolutely. And it's and and and it's real, it's visceral, it is messy, it is because it requires growth. It requires growth from whatever side of the supposed chasm you may stand on, it takes that kind of growth. It is um, I I have neighbors, um, they are a same-gender-loving couple, um right next door. And when I tell you I love these brothers, I love these brothers. Um and and I had hesitated for so long for them to find out that I was clergy. Because I did not want Interesting. Oh, yeah. I don't, it's definitely not something I lead with in any conversation. Okay. Uh, preacher, oh man, the whole atmosphere shifts. Of course. Um and uh, but one of the joys that uh I I have is in my opinion, within my neighborhood, I live in a large neighborhood, they are one of the most beautiful families you will ever see. I mean, um they are raising two young black boys. And I guess we've been neighbors six, seven years now since they've moved in. And when I tell you the kind of joy, I have never, not once, seen these little two boys not running around with a smile. Okay. And it gives the kind of joy to me. Now, mind you, I live right across, I don't know what in the world, how I ended up on preacher's row. I got I have I've got one bishop down on the corner across the street. I got another pastor in the apostolic tradition. Uh-huh. Uh I had, they recently had another pastor directly across the street, and then I got the good old Reverend Doctor uh who looks like he's about 103 years old, right down the corner. So it's just this one strip of just sanctimony and holiness and all of this kind of carrying on. And um, and I can be out outside, you know, uh on my porch uh with a group of uh friends smoking a cigar, uh sipping on a little communion, and uh enjoying life. Yeah, and it was not until they saw those kind of inflections that were a bit different that uh they approached me in a different regard. Gotcha. Like so it's those, yeah. It was it was, I don't know where this this part of the conversation went, but anyway, no, it's all good. Um uh to the point of difference. I think that's what it's about. I think it is about maturing in the appreciation of diversity that actually creates a stronger um belonging within community uh than us trying to stake our claim as to what is right and what is wrong. Um, which has a lot to do with actually uh my own studies, my studies in um decolonial theory. Um my answer, if anybody ever asks me a question to just about anything under the sun, my answer is always the same. Colonialism. It's it's always my answer. Um because the world that we live in, I think one of the things that makes it so difficult, uh why it is hard to sense another humanity to appreciate diversity, to appreciate difference, um, to see it as necessary, to see it if you are someone who is spiritual, to see it as divine imprint is because of the framework in which we live. We live in a society that is largely created through the efforts of colonialism, uh racialized capitalism, and all of these other things which die um that commodify and place value on everything but those aspects of humanity that belong to us. So we don't we don't value them. Dehumani. Dehumanizing. Yes, yes, exactly right. Exactly right. I see you as a thing. Yeah. Can't remember the scholar who came up with that, but uh thingification, that's what it is. It's when you objectify, you dehumanize.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

Yeah, yeah. You don't consider the person as the person, things that affect the person, things that are tied to the person, that have other persons they have, you know, brought into the world, and you have that lack of sensitivity. And now we see it more. I think with social media, these things are so much more instant. I was looking at something last week and I was like, I figure all this has been going on all along. We're just now bombarded with it that it's happening so quickly, you know, from what's happening in um our administration nationally, in other countries, other cities, in our own city. And at some point, I was like, is this all just really always going on? Right? Constantly bombarded with angry fights in the street, you know, people are aggressively driving. And the thing. I'm just sitting like, I would just never, I would never even want to be involved in that. Like, yo, go, do your thing. If you're that mad, let me, I'm gonna get off the road. Right. You can have all that. It just wouldn't, it wouldn't reach that far. But at some point, you know, engaging it, you can get tired. You know, some of us are just a step away from making that postal decision. Absolutely, without question. Because you just get, at some point you get tired, you get fed up, and you're thinking, why do I always have to fight, defend? And it goes back to something that we were talking about offline when I was talking about, you know, growing up in church and and didn't really step away. The work I was doing took me away from being able to be consistent in that fellowship, and I found myself on the road, and I didn't carry the persona that I carried in the world, in the in the in the industry. And so I was just rocking as I was, but I saw the gift and the Billy still, you know, still doing this thing. I was like, okay, so this is just not attached to that. Right. And but I still found my ways to belonging, identifying who I was, um, the value of that, not tied to the popularity of it. And I realized, okay, this this is this is real, we can do this, but only to find myself a little deflated when I, I guess, returned back to the familiar. It was so pretentious. Yes. It lacked progression, it wasn't in touch with the things I had found in the world, and I started seeking more. Um, what was at home was what I left 15 years ago. People doing the same things, it was getting nowhere. Right. And almost criticized for not just getting back in that hamster wheel. And I was like, nah, life is by that time for me, I had gone through a divorce. I had lived life in a much different way. Yes. And I couldn't. I was like, I don't even see it the same. Yeah, yeah. And so for me, the alignment was different. It was like shaking off toxicity people in life. Had to let it go. People that had taken time and built solid relationships. So I thought, and and no, I did. They were solid relations, relationships based on where I was at the time. Um, they served well, and I needed that. But it life changed. It no longer served the purpose. They weren't willing to grow and move forward, and I will I wasn't willing to stay where I was. Right. And I I I reconciled that and it's fine, there's no judgment. But then what's next? You know, then now finding my tribe. Right. Where do I belong? What do I do? And I became smarter, sharper, discerning, understand, intuition clear now, not to claim people so quickly, not to give those things away so quickly and understand. But then also, I think more critical not to be so judgmental in that, not to be so hard in the assessment. Right. To be kinder, to be more mindful, to be more considerate. Right. And just to be more focused on my assessment of what that means. Right. Because there's still value in connecting with people. And it doesn't mean it needs to be long longevity to that. Right. Let's make the connection, let's build into this, let's find this, move forward. And I found more peace in it, and I'm still finding my way through. But then these moments and pockets show up where ah, because I understood that when you now run into something that has more longevity or peace, you can appreciate it. Indeed. And you don't you don't need it in volume, you just need it in integrity and loyalty.

SPEAKER_06 14:39

Indeed, indeed, indeed. I mean it's it's uh, I was listening to um, I can't remember. I'm I'm always reading through something, listening through something, so it's hard to track all of the authors all the time or speakers. Um, but they were talking about this, it was a credible um certified professional in uh their field. Um, but they were talking about the evidence of a healed nervous system. Yeah. Uh and how it evidences itself when you are in alignment, when you have found that place. What what someone who whose nervous system has found calm and peace. Yes. How it settles. Yeah, and what it what it needs. It doesn't need to be out front. It doesn't need to be seen, it's not looking. Doesn't need to be recognized, seen, yeah, acknowledged, fastened. Fastened, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

It's just settled. It's settled.

SPEAKER_06 15:33

It's like still water. Yes, yes. It has found uh its place in the balance. This is one of the things that I love. I do a lot of studies of um uh indigenous psychologies, indigenous uh spiritualities, and these this is what um our folks long before, we're talking about pre-colonial uh traditions and uh ways of knowing what they what they really got right. Doesn't matter what tribe, what indigenous community, they're all doing the similar thing and they're finding it as they look in nature and see how all of the varied elements of nature. You can talk about the elements of water, fire, wind, all of that. You can talk about the aspects and characteristics of the sky and the land, you can talk about our uh non-human kin, the animals and the insects, the micro, whatever system, whatever uh world you're talking, all of it is found in a way that is interconnected and they find their rhythm in the larger scope of things. Yeah. And and I think that's what most of us are searching to get where you're journeying, you know. Um, and if we did, we would find much more healing for ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

I think that's the angst, Pastor. I think that's what I'm feeling. It's an awakening and it's reaching beyond because before it was finding the healing to where I had been. And so now that I'm settling and it's at peace, I'm just I'm in the cut. Right. I'm kind of just in the cut, like I'm good, right? That's not bothering me. Even like the waters I used, it's settled. And it there's only a much larger thing in the earth that causes that water to swell and move out. And so I'm at that point now like it's gotta be so much bigger. Yes. To align with beyond the immediate moment in my space, what I can see and touch, and it's so much broader.

SPEAKER_06 17:37

Well, it's like you said, we we had a con uh conversation uh a couple of days ago, um, and we were talking about how all things are connected. Yeah. And I think one of the beautiful places and spaces of healing uh and finding that balance, uh residing in the environment of still water, uh, one of the traditions I'm a part of communicates that water remembers. Yes. Water knows wherever you have been, it remembers. It was here before we got here, it will remain after we are long gone. Water remembers and and so because of that uh the length and breadth of that, when you find that space, you to me, the place of maturity within that is sort of I I think in ways connected to what you're talking about as far as the awakening, because once you get to that space, you recognize that it is all connected, and once you get to the limits of whatever your world is, you recognize that it's still even connected to something greater, bigger, and broader. When we were talking about the elements of the earth, we're talking about nature, we're talking about these spiritualities and these epistemologies, these ways of knowing that our four parents did, traffic did. But then outside of the earth, science educates us with regard to gravity, with regard to the light and heat from the sun and the moon, and how that push-pull is what actually creates the dance of the waters with the gravitational pull. So that the ebb and flow of life, I thought that there was a cause and effect that I could see, but no. What's the the the um the holiday in clerk who had to deal with this discriminatory old white woman calling them the N-word? I'm sorry, it's above me now.

SPEAKER_05 20:03

It's above me now. It's above me now.

SPEAKER_06 20:05

And that's and that's that's what you begin to see in uh these places of disconnection, of, you know, the damage, the violence, all of these things, the tension, the angst. Yeah. You're you're looking at this, but you're you're longing to find the connection. Why is it in our world there is this force that is so disruptive to people's lives? And and I think often missed because we are so clued in to what is going on with me that we miss that much of what is going on with me is directly connected to others. Yes. You know? Wow. And not to be not to be a preacher about it, but the Bible says. Yeah. You know, all of these things are always connected. What when the the Pharisee comes to Jesus and asks the question, what is the greatest law? What is the greatest commandment under the heavens? He says that you love the Lord your God with all your heart, your mind, your soul, your strength. But he said, the second is likened unto the first. That you love your neighbor as yourself. Which expresses to me the healing that we are in search of is not individual isolated. Yeah. It is the work of community. Yeah. It is the care and compassion for neighbor. It is seeing the God and the divinity in my neighbor, even if it is difficult to accept some of the ways of my neighbor.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Can I attempt to deconstruct that in a In a way that is it possible for me to see that in my neighbor if I don't see it in myself? Well, to be sure. I mean, you know, if we can if we can first find that, and this goes back to the healing, the peace, or just the self-awareness, if I can certainly see it in myself, or I again in water, let's use that. Identify experiences I've had, you know, pain and losses, and just identify and be aware and settled in that, then I certainly have an abundance of grace and consideration and mindfulness to my neighbor. You know, I shouldn't have to have that experience to extend that consideration. And you find people mainly in the position it's not until they've had to walk that walk to be mindful of what that experience is, opposed to just um, you know what? I was coming here today on the way here, and a gentleman was walking across the street, and it was obvious he was having some mobility issues. And immediately I got concerned because he was moving so slow. I was concerned if he was gonna make the portion of the street on the side I was on. I didn't think he was gonna have enough time for the other side, and would people be considered of it? But he almost stumbled. And now my hands completely flew up in the car like I was gonna catch him. Right. Because it looked like if he had stumbled, he was gonna be down. It was a whole moment for me in the car, you know, and whatever that was, um that was me reaching out. Yes, sir. And so just that to some degree, you do that with people. You can you may you remain in touch with others beyond yourself. And a lot of times, a lot of what we're throwing on other people, it won't be so hard. You know, it won't be so difficult to know a neighbor and say hi and say hello and be considerate and be mindful. Always thrown off when something is not cool. You know, everything has its ebbs and flows. Sometimes you need to check somebody. Indeed. That's a part of it. But that's the balance. Yes. Again, we always, we never, we never want to live in the difference because we're always living in the extreme. We always gotta go full extremes. Like every situation requires a different response, and that's accountability. And we've gotten to a point now where everything just goes, I'm like, no, we gotta match the moment where it is, I think.

SPEAKER_06 24:26

To your point, I think one of the things that makes it so difficult for us is because we do not begin where our elders and our ancestors began. Uh because of, it goes back to my answer, it's always colonialism. Um because of the framework that we live in, and because coloniality and capitalism do this thing where we are brought into the world to believe that we are individuals and we are to stand on our own, and we are supposed to find the answers for ourselves, that it's always my journey. That was not a thing in the days of old. Okay. We began in the days of old with a communal psychology. Okay. In fact, if you were to um there is the um the principal uh Ubuntu, which is commonly heard, you know, particularly in um Pan-African um or black liberation spiritualities and uh theologies, you hear this term which is um I am because we are, or uh um this nomenclature that my identity is basically found and rooted in the we, not just the I or the me. And I think when you when you get to that space, that's why belonging I think is so critically important. Because when you find your village, when you find your community, then you have now at least a good starting point to begin to tool in a way where it is um a lot easier for you to identify the humanity and others and to identify the desperate interconnectedness that I literally do depend on you. Your wellness is so critically important to me. Okay. Um and because I am so vested in your goodness, I will also, it is my responsibility to hold you accountable to when you threaten, because when you threaten the harmony of the community by your foolishness, you know, you you threaten me. So um it's it's it's seeing um all of that. I just I just think it is it is terribly hard, and I think that's our approach to it. Absolutely. I think the approach is because we don't start from this place that of we, it makes it so much difficult because everybody's out here on these journeys. That's what's so critically important about, regardless of what kind of uh faith tradition you come out of, um, or spirituality that is practiced, it is in my estimation critically important to do so in community. Now, it can be dangerous if uh those individuals who are charged with serving these communities are not credentialed, informed, educated in a way, yeah, um if they cannot see that some of the stuff that they are saying is detrimental and they don't even know it because they're just going with, well, what's the trend in churches now? But that that's that's part of the hardship of trying to really do the real, real work in an organization like this, yeah, because we have to figure out these differences between the organization, the institution, and the spirituality that we are all trying to practice. But when you find your community, your village within that spiritual uh commune, um, I think it's critically important that uh that's where the beginning comes from you. I I think it's just terribly, terribly difficult to find the kind of healing that it is that we long for. I'm not saying that a person is not healed that does their work. Yeah. All of us are required to do our work in community. Absolutely. All of us have our own individual journeys, but do not lose sight. The detriment is if we lose sight to um the necessity to remain connected. Because ain't nobody walking their own individual, uniqueness. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yes, God is diverse, but Lord, today, come on now. That you get your whole own lane by yourself, just your this this is it ain't never been done before.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

Yeah, you the only one being there on the past. It only ever happened to you. It's unique to only your family.

SPEAKER_06 29:51

Absolutely not. I mean, if that's the case, how then would your witness, your testimony, yeah, contribute to helping me?

SPEAKER_01 30:01

Because the stuff you're talking about, I ain't never seen that before. And and what's recorded in the text. How does that date so far back, but it shows relevance to things that you know, yeah, it gives you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:12

Absolutely. So it is. It is. I think one of those things that we we do often miss is how reliant we are on each other in order to be our best self. Yeah, community is the is the way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

And the uplift of community is something that is missing in a way that will inadvertently bring us back to ourselves.

SPEAKER_06 30:41

Indeed. Indeed. This is some of like the the the when we're talking about we just came out of um observing uh mental health awareness month. And um there is this kind of dissension between uh American psychology and the rest of the world. The rest of the world seems to approach um uh seems to approach psychology as not just this mind thing, but it is the soul, it is the sum total of the being of the of the individual, right? Um and um that there is no demarcation, there is no bifurcation, uh, but but you you've got a lot, even in in our communities, you've got a lot of people who are now uh being credentialed in somatic healing and somatic therapy where they're trying to connect the mind to the body, uh, and all of these things. Those are the things that are of our indigenous um histories. And um one of the things that I think is one of the greater demarcations between American approaches to psychology and mental wellness and health and the rest of the world is the rest of the world recognizes that the best healing takes place in communities as opposed to some individual prescription or treatment that takes you from community. Okay. Um in isolation, you can be diagnosed as wrong. Yeah. But in it it's like take I I've got uh a few family members um who um in your normal Eurowestern um diagnosis and assessment, uh they're on spectrum. Okay. But ain't nothing about spectrum brand new. At all. At all. At all. At all. And and whereas in some of these treatments, they would isolate these individuals or just simply group them with others like them in ways that we were raised, they're saying, no, the boy or the girl, she just special. And the community would be involved in figuring out how do we usher this child uh uh to their best place. And they wouldn't let you outside of their care because they knew you. This was relational.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

So they were going watch out for you. They knew what the little question was. Sometimes they responded to different people. So you have a, if you have them isolated, they're docile and they do things differently. But in the community, sometimes there was an uncle that can make them smile more and come out more. So that community made it. Yeah, it's not new at all. I mean, when I look back now, I think some things I saw in cousins or friends, it was like, even somehow entertainers or people we know publicly, I was like, they've gotta be on spectrum. Yeah. But truly, we wouldn't have gotten out of them the gift or ability, a contribution. I'm trying to tell you. You know, I feel like, you know, Western medicine and health, if they they everything has to be kind of a thing thing, you know. You gotta highlight it and but it's the it's it's the approach.

SPEAKER_06 34:15

But that I mean, and but that has so much to do with um quote unquote the diagnosis, how it is viewed. In community, it is not viewed as if it is some type of deficit. It's a different, diverse gift that has been brought to the community. It's different, but not less. Yes. Because we call on that, we well, shoot. I grandmama say, baby, I can't count them numbers. Go in there and get that boy. You know he knows numbers better than any one of us. Problem solved. Problem is solved for the community. Boom. You know, so so it it's it's um, yeah, I think um finding village, finding community, finding your your people is critically important. Um critically important. And um as we all seek to grow and to heal and to um, you know, divest ourselves from the ravages of uh the kind of culture and context we live in, this capitalist, uh racialized capitalism and and and coloniality and all of this other mess, uh misogynois, uh patriarchy, all of it, homophobia, all of these, transphobia, all of these things which are hell bent on trying to categorize and separate as opposed to no, how does this all work together for the greatest good for all of us, the beauty in it.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

Now, if this resonates, subscribe and share with a friend. Thanks so much as always for being a part of this conversation. It's got it's gotta be about community family. You know, we gotta get back to what really matters and reapproach and find the strength, the support, the love, the confidence, the courage, the security, sentimentality, you know, the peace among those who love us and can uphold us. And always remember it's never too late to be what you might have been. Until the next time, stay funk and stay chic.

SPEAKER_06 36:32

Oh well, if you ask me, um any question you ask, the answer is always colonialism.

SPEAKER_03 39:59

It's awake time, it's time to die.

SPEAKER_01 40:05

I am grateful for a circle of people who support my growth, joy, and well-being. I recognize the power of connection to heal, inspire and sustain me through every season. I choose to contribute my presence, kindness, and listening ears to my community. I celebrate the unique gifts each person brings, knowing we amplify each other's potential. I trust that in the weave of shared stories, challenges become opportunities for learning and resilience. I commit to showing up with empathy, patience, and an open heart even when it's hard. I honor the quiet moments when others need a steady voice, a warm cup, and a hopeful word. I affirm that collaboration creates more than the sum of its parts. Together, we thrive. I release the belief that I must navigate life alone. I am part of a vibrant, supportive network. I nurture our collective well-being by offering encouragement, sharing resources, and lending strength. I celebrate milestones together and hold space for one another during times of transition. I aspire to listen deeply, understand generously, and respond thoughtfully within my community. I cultivate gratitude for people who show up, speak truth with kindness, and walk beside me. I affirm the belonging in daily practice, patient, deliberate, and joyful. I carry forward a sense of responsibility to uplift others, knowing every act of care compounds over time. I trust that mutual support builds courage, confidence, and resilience for us all. I envision communities where diversity is honored, voices are heard, and every person belongs. I affirm that I am not alone. We are interconnected, resilient, and capable of collective shine. I close this moment with gratitude for community and renewed commitment to contribute to its flourishing.